Secrets

It’s taken me two years to post this. I kept it in draft all this time ignoring it. I now feel it’s a safe space among us bloggers and readers to post. There is nothing to hide.

I was standing at a bus stop holding my face up to the sun thinking about current relations in my life when suddenly I realized just how many events and experiences in my life have been kept a secret! How many relationships held a secret in one way or another. I was standing there just floored by the sudden thought… the pattern just never occurred to me.

Especially men, my fathers violence towards my mother, my suppressed marriage, my first new relationship after ending a 16 year marriage, and finally my new found love and discovering his addiction to alcohol that regrettably took his life 15 years ago.

Secrets kept are not healthy, when secrets are held within they will begin to simmer, then boil and gradually overflow or explode and thats when it becomes dangerous. There is resentment, grudges and hateful feelings not only to the significant other you are keeping the secret about but to your precious self as well. There will be damage. It’s destructive. You can’t stay boxed in holding on to the secret, because to suppress your feelings and not let your feelings be told only turns negative itself and creates a weakness. One way or another you will be affected. The positive side to this cause and effect is if you catch it in time you can rebel and reveal the truth, reconcile in time before there is too much damage done. You can break away from the solitude, it won’t be easy, their will be challenges but in the long run you will be set free!

Set yourself free!

I’m unlocking one more secret….after all secrets of love is not meant to be hidden only celebrated. I have to make a choice. I’m beginning to feel the freedom.

I am strong, I can do this.

I’m here.

love eva

What Rocks You?

Many years ago while sitting with a co-worker and sharing my passion and dream of how I would like to some day run empowerment workshops to encourage people to follow their hearts. At the time I had a long list of names I would call it such as, Power of Women or just, POW or HEART…. I think I even thought of my own name EVA with each letter representing words of enlightment and abundance…. any way, I was going on about my vision so close to my heart and the difference we can make for others and the simplicity of it. I  told her I know its possible because I myself have discovered, encountered and experienced enough to believe in the power of visions. Then for some weird reason, I reached down into the side cushion of the couch I was sitting on and felt  a rock nuzzled deep within the couch, I pulled it out and on it was written  Strength and Power with a bears paw stamped on it. I just looked at her surprised and she said to me with astonishment, I think you just made your case!”

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I carry that rock with me whenever I need  reminding of the possibilities life offers us and, to sustain my dreams and visions.

What rocks you?

Share with me your power…what makes you strong and fuels you to carry on?