Secrets

It’s taken me two years to post this. I kept it in draft all this time ignoring it. I now feel it’s a safe space among us bloggers and readers to post. There is nothing to hide.

I was standing at a bus stop holding my face up to the sun thinking about current relations in my life when suddenly I realized just how many events and experiences in my life have been kept a secret! How many relationships held a secret in one way or another. I was standing there just floored by the sudden thought… the pattern just never occurred to me.

Especially men, my fathers violence towards my mother, my suppressed marriage, my first new relationship after ending a 16 year marriage, and finally my new found love and discovering his addiction to alcohol that regrettably took his life 15 years ago.

Secrets kept are not healthy, when secrets are held within they will begin to simmer, then boil and gradually overflow or explode and thats when it becomes dangerous. There is resentment, grudges and hateful feelings not only to the significant other you are keeping the secret about but to your precious self as well. There will be damage. It’s destructive. You can’t stay boxed in holding on to the secret, because to suppress your feelings and not let your feelings be told only turns negative itself and creates a weakness. One way or another you will be affected. The positive side to this cause and effect is if you catch it in time you can rebel and reveal the truth, reconcile in time before there is too much damage done. You can break away from the solitude, it won’t be easy, their will be challenges but in the long run you will be set free!

Set yourself free!

I’m unlocking one more secret….after all secrets of love is not meant to be hidden only celebrated. I have to make a choice. I’m beginning to feel the freedom.

I am strong, I can do this.

I’m here.

love eva

A Dream It Was

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Your Sunset

A dream it was…or maybe not

For I was sure….at least…I thought?

Do not despair shall have no fear, this dream of love is truly dear.

It will not fade, it will not run, this love abides, itself the sun!

Deep down within I realize, my love for you so grand a size!

I must be off to tell thou so ” I love you dear! …oh god, please no.

Indeed it was a dream I feared, for now I wake…you’ve disappeared….

By eva aboud

1982 in memory of a friend reunited 26 years later… may you rest in peace.

Thank you for helping me believe in my own power.

I will never give up from believing in the manifestations of good.

You are not Forgotten

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You are in my heart mind and soul, you have not gone unforgotten, I carry your memory with me everyday, I think of you always, you were courageous, a soldier, a hero and a messenger to all of us connected to you. I remember you, I remember All of you.

It’s a good memory.

I will continue the fight, for your endeavours live within me and I will do my best to make the world a better place.

Thank you for being in my life. Thank you All for being my friend,

You are not forgotten. Not ever. Not one of you.

eva

Eleven Eleven

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11:11

Each time I see the number eleven eleven on a clock, watch or mobile phone something clicks or shifts at that very moment for me, it feels like some sort of a mystical sync has just taken place.

I imagine the universe made up of this complex machinist like engine, orchestrating our existence in an unimaginable profound way and it navigates reason to an unknown realm or dimension that perpetuates our day to day, minute to minute, second to second livelihood.

It’s loaded with karma and learning lessons, cause and effect and it activates the now, the future and potentially alters the past.

A Devine master plan creating this ripple or dominoes effect yet forever changing, ongoing and unlimited….connecting our spirits to the next now, the next moment constantly shifting.

I wonder if every 12 hours when eleven eleven strikes has any significance to manifesting our thoughts, dreams and desires?

Eleven Eleven… a spiritual, significant and ancient philosophy contemplated through out time.

It’s 11:11, did you feel that?

Eva

Celebrate Women

To me it reflects a beautiful image of our power within. borrowed from social media-So beautiful, Thank you for sharing!

My message

Happy International Women’s Day!

I believe in the power of our voice and the power we hold within! We are the change and we make the difference! Women unite for we are the force of the future!

This is to all the women warriors in the family! To my beautiful daughters Amira and Karima and amazing granddaughter Nariah! Not to forget Nona, the Queen of Warriors ! My girl friends Corina, Carmen, Astarte. Jayne, Judith, my distant missed cousins and awesome neighbours and my super team of women I have the privilege to work with at my workplace!
May the Force be with you all,  always!

With Love Eva

 This image borrowed from social media-So beautiful, Thank you for sharing!

Women Kind

  This newspaper clipping saved from decades ago just about explains it all! It makes me think of just how Women are indeed one… yes, one of a kind! Mankind had us believing we are a separate entity from the whole, incomplete and lesser without the other half. But, we know that not only are we complete, all powerful, and perfect just as we are, we are also the new force and voice of our times!

A toast to all women and our independence! A toast to our voice! May we never be shutdown again! And a toast to the rest of the world that hears us, supports us and make way for us. There is a lot of work to be done and a mess to clean up, make room because here we are!!

Happy International Women’s Day Week!

Talking Stick

Raven Eagle Talking Stick carved by George Matllpi

My experience

The nature of the talking stick provides us the opportunity to speak from our hearts and mind. When used in a peace circle it provides the circle to process what is being said and be heard without judgement. It paces our time. When the stick is passed to you, it is only your words being spoken. With intent, your words are received with openness and provide a path to understanding. It’s a tool of communication to solve problems or to gather deeper insights in any situation.

The beauty of the talking stick is the golden moments of thought process we share with reflection, respect and consideration. While the collective sounds of our heartbeat paces our thoughts, we courageously find our voice to share in a peace circle without interruptions. It takes time, presence and mindfulness.

Each time I participated in a circle-surprising encounters of awareness occurs, resulting in a deeper sense of appreciation for humanity. This tradition is so valuable and vital to our ways of communication, if only we can use it more in our systems such as law, government, schools, mediation…did I mention gov’t?

I would like to share my gratitude to Dr. Evelyn Zellerer, founder of Peace of the Circle, for her graceful and impeccable directions and facilitation training on leading a peace circle at my work place, Frog Hollow Neighbourhood House. My experiences were always positive feelings of enlightenment and a sense of common ground.

The photo represents the talking stick given to me as a gift from a friend of mine named Rudy/George Matilpi (First Nations carver Kwakiutl from Alert Bay). It is depicting the Raven and majestic Eagle. I am grateful for his gift and I will use it in our future work with community.

I am honored.

With much love, gratitude, understanding, and friendship.

Eva

I would like to acknowledge that I live, work and play on the unceded and traditional territories of the Coast Salish peoples – sḵwx̱wú7mesh (Squamish), sel̓íl̓witulh (Tsleil  Waututh) and xʷməθkʷəy̓əm (Musqueam) first nations.

Valentine Mama’s

img_2907-1.jpgValentine Day is my favourite time of year, It’s an opportunity to share a piece of our heart in so many ways. May it be chocolates for the office or that one person we think about all the time. How about hugging our daughters and sons and lovely grandchildren which I cannot resist. Tell them they are perfect just the way they are, say I love you, say I care. It’s not too late. Our partners, friends, neighbours, sweethearts, and especially out Mama’s.  Just show love, one way or another it will be received for it is all we need!

I love you all, especially Mama!

hugs Eva xoxo

Stairway to Love

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Love grows one step at a time. Love is an energy that provides us opportunities to do better, to learn from our mistakes, to understand our pain, heal and supports us to carry on. It’s love’s energy that labours at all our endeavours and challenges and like a stairway to a higher understanding awaits for us to reach out to it but it takes patience, awareness and mindfulness. We can achieve all we aspire with love as our foundation. Know that love is always there for us, around us, surrounds us, and grows through our lifetime one step at at time.

A Familiar Sense of Nostalgia

Just found this passage I wrote in 1998…I think I was on to something.

There is a familiar sense of nostalgia, a sort of invisible passage, that connects one to a past as well the future of inherent and essence.

1998 Eva Aboud

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Our inner being hints to us a message, hold on to it, right it down, someday it will make sense to you. There is a connection.

love eva